During the training to become a certified MMS Coach, I not only learned how to be a good coach, but also experienced personal deepening and growth. I have become much more conscious in the present. What is happening here and now? What is unfolding for me? What am I experiencing right now? It is opening yourself with heart and mind to the world around you and not passing things by in your mind. At the beginning of June I walked with our two labradors, Donna and Bommel, early on the beach between Bergen Aan Zee and Schoorl. At the Poles (see at the top of the website) I always stop to enjoy the sea, the space, the light. On the way back, Donna always looks for a ‘prey’ along the flood line, usually a cola can or a plastic bottle. When leaving the beach, she lays the prey in front of me and I throw it into the trash can. Same with that Sunday morning. I picked up her catch-of-the-day and now consciously watched what I got my hands on.
It was a cool plastic bottle closed with a cap. The label on the outside was still completely intact. It could not have been in the water for very long. On the label was an image of Madonna with child and below it the text: O. L. Vrouwe ter Nood, Heiloo. "Nice of you, Donna, to pick that up now,” I said. I turned the cap off and saw that there was a note inside. I tried to take it out with my little finger, but I couldn't.
When I got home, I squeezed the note out of the bottle with tweezers and read it:
This is really my last chance. I can't figure out how to get out of my trouble.
I was shocked and a feeling of great concern came over me. Intuitively, I felt that it must belong to a woman between forty and fifty years old. On the back of the note was an e-mail address. After breakfast, I crawled behind my pc and wrote an email to her. I told how I got the bottle and ended with the words:
"I got a very worried feeling about me when I read it. Would you tell me a little more about it? There may be solutions.”
Curious about her reaction, I sent my email to the net. in the afternoon Ria, my wife, found the website of O. L. Vrouwe ter Nood. We saw that a vespers service would be held that afternoon at 15: 00. It was half past three and we decided to drive there. After some searching we found the beautiful vescholen Chapel in the woods near Heiloo. There is also a well in the courtyard in front of the chapel. Later we read that healing power is assigned to the water. Therefore, this Mary Shrine is also popularly called:” the well “or”Mary Well". Just as we arrived, the service began and we found a place in the chapel, which was illuminated by many hundreds of waxen lights. It was a beautiful, impressive service with old Gregorian chants, sung by eight gentlemen. After the service, I spoke to the Pastor and told him what had happened to me. I let him read the note. He shared our concerns, but the name of the email address didn't tell him anything. "There are so many thousands of people coming here, all I can advise you is to light a light for her”., he said. Ria had already done that. Returning home, I checked the telephone directory in the wide area, no result.
But luckily, the next morning there was a reply to my email:
that's really fast, yes the water is literally and figuratively on my lips but I don't really know what to do with it, I've always believed in the good but even with the ‘Well’ I can't get the strength to continue, that's why I have that bottle – which I have bought it to take courage-thrown into the sea like that. If only I had thrown it in the trash, because no matter how hard it is, I'll have to do it alone. I'm a " big girl." A big hug for Donna.
I was pleased with the response. In any case, she showed the will to get out of her problems herself. That afternoon I emailed her the following:
Thank you for your response. And for letting us discover that there is a chapel in Heiloo. We drove there yesterday afternoon and could just enjoy a beautiful vespers service with beautifully sung Gregorian songs. Ria (my wife) and I lit a candle for you, the only thing we could do for you at that time. Indeed, as you write, in the end you will have to do it all yourself, from your heart, from your truth. There very deep inside yourself, there is always a light, from which you find the strength to move on. I found it when I was in the pit. You'll know how to find it too. Good luck with your journey inside.
That same afternoon she sent me another email back:
Well then it has been good for something, I have been to the chapel many times, I am grateful for your candle, I will light one for you at home. I am originally from Drenthe and there is a number 1 hit, ‘it has never been so dark or it will be light again’. Your candle will be the first light.
I wish you good luck, health but above all sincere love.
Ten days later I wanted to know how she was going and I sent her another email. I wanted to be helpful but also not pushy:
How are you now? Is it getting a little lighter? If I can help you, let me hear from you. If you say: no need, I'll save myself, that's fine too.
A week later I got her message:
Nice of you to ask but no I don't have a solution to my problems yet. This weekend I go to my parents, my father turns 89 and has cancer but still I plan to tell them I don't know anymore.
Thank you for your sympathy.
The reply I sent her was:
Good of you for giving yourself and your parents the confidence to share it with them. A lot of strength with your father's illness.
A month passed in which I did not hear from her. I emailed her then:
This morning I was walking along the beach wondering how you would be and how your father is.
The next day I got the right answer:
I also walked along the beach maybe we passed each other. My father has cancer, he is 89 years old and does not want to be treated anymore. I am also doing better, despite the fact that I have not yet controlled my main problem, I have already taken considerable steps. I even started a course and do sports every day, I am also looking for another job and have a very nice application on Thursday. In short, as we always say in Drenthe; it is never so dark or it becomes light again How Are you and your dog? Have you been to the pit again?
Thank you for your lovely email.
This is going in the right direction, I thought. A happy and comforting feeling took hold of me when I read this post. She has gone through the U-process and is now creating new realities for herself. A new future is unfolding. Because I was not locked in my own thoughts, but consciously stopped at such a small thing, like a bottle that Donna found by the sea, I was allowed to be a part of this. I'm grateful for that.
Boy Van Droffelaar, PhD
